By: Fiona and her (lesbian/queer) friend, Katie
Pronoun Protocol
- As a foundation, always use gender-inclusive words like people, person, kid, relative, sibling, parent, etc.
- See people as people first without gender assumptions.
- Don’t assume you know someone’s pronoun based on their name or appearance.
- Use the singular pronoun they as a default in public for people you don’t know, instead of assuming he or she.
- Use a person’s name if you don’t know their pronoun. If you must use a pronoun, you could use they
- Unless it is a confirmed safe space, don’t ask someone’s gender or pronoun, it is theirs to tell or not when ready.
- If someone shares their pronouns with you, always use them in private and ask them if they’re comfortable with you using them in a public setting.
- Remember that people can have more than one pronoun and pronouns can also change.
- There are more than two or even three pronouns. Learn about and practice ze, xe, using a name, and more.
- If you slip into assumptions, apologize briefly if necessary, and simply return to the Pronoun Protocol.
- Establish this Protocol as a standard to include everybody, whether or not there are non-binary people present.
- Always use the Pronoun Protocol in public settings.
The Gender Spectrum
What Lesser known labels are there?
Gender Expression
- Also known as gender presentation
- How you express yourself to the outside world
- Clothing, hairstyle, makeup, or even pronouns are examples of gender expression
Sex
- What you’re assigned at birth
- Major sexes: Male, Female, and Intersex
- “Intersex is a general term used for a variety of situations in which a person is born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t fit the boxes of “female” or “male”
- Often abbreviated as acronyms
- AFAB: Assigned female at birth
- AMAB: Assigned male at birth
- AXAB: Assigned X at birth (typically used for intersex individuals who don’t present as anatomically male or female)
Gender Identity
- Internal sense of gender (what you “feel like”)
- Most common examples are man and woman
- Lesser known examples could be non-binary, genderfluid, agender, etc.
You are valid! Real people with Real pronouns
These are some famous actors and singers with these prounouns
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- Elliot Page – Transexual – He/they
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- Demi Lovato – Non Binary – They/Them
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- Janelle Monae – Non Binary – Hasn’t addressed pronouns
Practicing Some Common Pronouns
She/her: She uses she/her pronouns. Her favorite color is red. She likes to play basketball.
He/Him: He uses he/him pronouns. His favorite color is red. He likes to play basketball.
They/Them: They use they/them pronouns. Their favorite color is red. They like to play basketball.
No Pronouns: Alex doesn’t use pronouns. Alex’s favorite color is red. Alex likes to play basketball.
All/any pronouns: They use any pronouns. Her favorite color is red. He likes to play basketball.
It/its: It uses it/its pronouns. Its favorite color is red. It likes to play basketball.
Note: Some people use multiple sets of pronouns. In order to use these, simply alternate which pronouns you use every sentence or so. For example, if someone uses she/they, you could say:
She uses she/they pronouns. Their favorite color is red. She likes to play basketball.
A More Genderfull World!
- Ground the Truth of Nature
- If we look we can see gender diversity in beings all around us, flying in the sky swimming in the seas, playing in the first. All genders are perfectly natural.
- Expand Multicultural and Indigenous Awareness
- In every color of the human rainbow, in every country of the world, everybody, everywhere, there is and has always been gender diversity
- Nurture Inclusive History
- Gender diverse people have made significant contributions throughout US and global history, as ambassadors, doctors, leaders, artists, and in everyday life as family, neighbors and friends
- Divest in opposite and binary thinking
- We have been falsely conditioned to see only in opposites and in twos. This blinds us to the truth of nuance and the vast variety that exists in everything, including gender
- Engage new ways of speaking
- Create safe, gender fluid spaces for everyone to relax into and explore who they are free from stereotypes & assumptions by using nouns & pronouns that include everyone all the time. Engage the pronoun protocol.
- Remember who has been erased
- Bring awareness to who is not included in books, media & learning materials so exclusive and erasure never go unacknowledged
- Free your mind to holistic thinking
- A holistic perspective is the remedy to oppositional binary thinking, Pay attention to to interdependence & interconnectivity. Explore gradations and in-between spaces; holes rather than separation into parts.
- Use pronoun power
- Practice how to use more pronouns than he & she like singular they, ze, tree, xe, or even a person’s name. Play with pronouns in books & other media to explore new inclusive stories.
- Liberate from systemic oppression
- Look at the ways you participate in gender stereotypes and assumptions and how you can break the cycle every day. Remember courage discomfort are a natural part of change
- Learn about the gender wheel
- Move toward a new way of thinking about gender that is nature-based and holistic and takes into account the larger context of our history and its impact. Gender is dynamic, infinite, inclusive.
Sources and Sites for Further Research:
http://www.genderwheel.com/pronouns/pronoun-protocol/
http://www.genderwheel.com/curriculum/level-one-pronoun-circle/
https://time.com/5947032/elliot-page/ (photo)
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/03/16/arts/music/demi-lovato-interview.html (photo)
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/sex-gender-identity/whats-intersex
https://media.nationalgeographic.org/assets/file/GenderRevolution_GUIDE_UpdatedFeb9.pdf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6Gc3DdlJmc Gender Revolution with Katie Couric (this is just the preview)